The New Year often calls for us to make a list of all the resolutions and goals we want to strive for in the year to come. I love this, I am big on goal setting and striving for things, I always have been. Much of the things I have achieved in my life are a result of serious goal setting. But in my belief, there is a specific way to do and not do this. When you set a goal, it is usually based on the fact you are not where you want to be, so you set a goal to get you to that place. And to get to that place you must stay motivated, you need willpower and drive to get you there, or else you will remain where you are. You may recognise that if you continue doing exactly what you are currently doing, then you will remain in the exact same place you are now. So things need to change – you must change if you want to change.
There is a way to create this change, but the way I see many people go about it is not the way that will create lasting motivation. I want you to reach your goals, so this is what I want you to know. Every single thing you aim for and want to achieve – it must always be decided upon from a love-based perspective. Your mind set must be working with love, not with fear. This is not some crazy eye-rolling notion, this is simply how the mind works. So if you want to achieve your goals, you must work with your mind, not against it, because without a doubt your mind will always win. So if you woke up one day and decided you wanted to be better, perhaps you felt overweight, you didn’t like the person who looked back in the mirror, you felt unhappy in your body, or you wanted to be more of something – maybe thinner, stronger, fitter, happier – then this, this perspective that you are using to set your goals from, is fear-based. It is founded simply from the fact you don’t like how you are right now and want to be better, improved, more of something. Using this to drive you is going to exhaust motivation and willpower very quickly, it is going to remind you constantly that you are not good enough as you are, the process you have to go through to achieve these goals will become obsessive and tiring, and furthermore, you will actually struggle to recognise when you even achieve your goal, because your striving to be better is not quite as simple and physical as you think. That stuff goes deep, it runs deep into your unconscious mind and by simply setting a weight loss or fitness goal, you will not correct that programming. You will begin a cycle of all-in and all-out mentality, with flipping from being extremely ‘well-behaved’ with self-sabotaging and punishment. It’s really not a happy place for you to be in. You deserve better. Instead of this, what I want you to do, is base your goals on the fact that you love yourself. Loving yourself is a process, it takes time, it takes daily commitment to achieve, but even if you are not there yet, you can still create your goals from a self-love perspective. Every time I create a goal I ask myself how I will benefit from it. How much will I love achieving this goal, how much will my body enjoy achieving this. I decide my reasoning’s for wanting it, and then I create a goal based on the fact that I love and respect myself enough to want to achieve this goal. If I want to work on my fitness, it is because I love the way it makes me feel to be fit. If I want to put more focus on strength training, it is because I love the way feeling strong feels, I know my body enjoys being this way, and it means I am more able to cope with daily living. If I want to actively choose more nourishing foods, it’s because my body feels amazing when I eat them. If I want to work on getting more sleep, it’s because I love waking up feeling refreshed and energised each morning. Every single goal I pick is because my body or mind will love it. It always promotes self-care, self-respect and self-love – for the body I have right now. Always. So check in with yourself right now, and ask yourself what the driving force behind your goals are. Do they promote self-love for who you are right now, or are the pushing you to improve because you don’t like the way you are at the moment? Begin fiercely loving the person you are right now, and then set goals to show love and respect to yourself. I promise you, you will achieve so much more by doing this. With love, Kerri x
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Kerri van de Loo - Mindfulness coach, Personal Trainer, Nutrition Coach & SELF-LOVE COACH:Join our Online Wellness Club here: https://www.bodyessence.co.nz/wellness-club.html Categories
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